Jeff: June 19, 2006

Jeff RothenbachWow! This writing thing isn’t as easy as it looks. Maybe if I put in a CD, an idea will come to me. OK, that didn’t work. I’ll go get something to drink. Snapple fact #18: A jellyfish is 95% water.

I know this is a bit off the topic of moving, but hear me out. I can tie it in. This past weekend, Rolf and I planned to go on a hike together with our outdoors club. Rolf wasn’t feeling up to it, so I went hiking alone, while Rolf went to his yoga class. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but I really appreciate that we can do separate activities and meet later for dinner. We don’t have to be one of those couples that does everything together (no offense intended to those couples—it’s a personal choice that we all make for ourselves). This makes me feel better about moving in together (See, I told you I could tie this back in). I worry sometimes about losing myself in a relationship, so little things like this ease my mind.

While I’m on the topic of easing my mind, I will throw caution to the wind and mention a nice conversation we had recently. (Note to my parents: if you are reading this, close the browser now and go back to your poker site or check your email) Rolf and I had a talk about family—our own and each other’s. Admittedly, my parents can be a bit more than my dates are ready for. This time around, I have tried to hold them back. I think we came to a better understanding of what we both want and don’t want.

I think I have kept everyone in my world balanced these past eight months. For example, (God, I hope my mother isn’t reading this) after two or three dates, I was talking to my mother on the phone, and telling her that things were working out well. She told me that if I want to make this work, I should try to keep some of my idiosyncrasies from him. I replied that I already planned on waiting to introduce her to Rolf.

Getting back to that hike, it went on much longer than I expected. By the time I got to a place where I had a cell phone signal to call Rolf, he was already at my apartment. I had intended to have some time to straighten up before he arrived for dinner, but ten miles of hiking, with knee-deep stream crossings takes some time. I was momentarily distressed, but I got over it very quickly. I was actually surprised at how comfortable I could be with that.

Following a thought once again, I remember a boyfriend washing my dishes for me (against my wishes). As soon as he left, I took everything out of the dish rack and washed it all again. However, when Rolf scrubbed out my bathroom sink this past weekend, I actually thought it was sweet of him to do that. (And no, honey, I didn’t rescrub it when you left)

This relationship feels right to me. When I start to hyperventilate, thinking about another human actually sharing my living space, I just remind myself that it’s Rolf I’ll be living with. The panic attack usually passes within a couple of minutes.


This series of posts was first published in 2006 and 2007. Jeff and Rolf are now happily living together. For those of you who have missed it the first time around and for everyone who’d like to read it again, here is the full story line in an updated format.

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