Valentine’s Day! What’s the gay boy to do when he doesn’t want to send flowers to the girl he’s supposed to like and doesn’t dare to talk to the adorable guy he has such a crush on? Even decades after kindergarten, Valentine’s can bring misery to any gay man not properly coupled off. Here are some ideas on what to do.
In both the stage and movie versions of Lerner and Lowe’s Gigi, one of the male leads sings a song entitled “I’m glad that I’m not young anymore” in which he gives all the reasons he is thrilled not to be a young man. The song is a bit tongue in cheek, but is nevertheless an ode to the joys of being older.
Some of you may be familiar with the term “born-again virgin”, a phrase adopted by a small segment of the heterosexual population who had been previously sexually active and have now chosen to save themselves for marriage. Less familiar may be the smaller – but seemingly growing – number of gay male couples who previously had engaged in an open relationship but who are now contemplating re-closing their bedroom doors.
For those of you who remember Al Franken’s Saturday Night Live parody on the self-help movement, you probably recall how hilariously he represented everything wrong with the self-empowerment school of thought. The movement was based on the notion that “positive thinking” and “positive affirmations” work. Guess what? They don’t. Recent research indicates that there is no “power” in the whole “power of positive thought” movement. What has been shown to work however, is not thinking negatively!
If you are a gay man anywhere from your 20’s to your 50’s, who has the nagging feeling that your life is preoccupied with the need to “compete,” a vague sense of meaninglessness (feeling like you’re spending too much of your time obsessed with your appearance, gossip, the gym, cocktails; and anonymous sex) or finding that “LTR” (long term relationship), then please, keep reading.
Rolf Danner 