A couple of weeks ago, I came across a battered and water stained copy of the ‘The Gay Mystique’ a ground breaking book, published just a few years after the Stonewall riot. Jeff had picked it up years ago at a thrift store and it had lingered unread on our bookshelves. Reading the book is an eye opening experience for me, not just as a testament to how far we have come in the more than 40 years since, but also in how clearly the author has captured the issues that we are still facing today. Here is one of my favorite passages from the very end of the book:
“When a person comes out, the dam is burst. He can get in touch with all his emotions. He feels his loves more deeply, his pleasures more keenly, and his anger in a clean and honest form-he is no longer fighting himself. It feels good. It is a precious discovery. It shows. Look at the faces of liberated gay people. Look at their eyes, their smiles.
“Why do I suddenly feel like we are married?” Those were the first words out of my mouth once the bright California Sun had cleared some of the bank induced haze from my brain. The best of all husbands and I had been dating for just under a year and Jeff had popped the big question: “How do you feel about living together?”
Valentine’s Day! What’s the gay boy to do when he doesn’t want to send flowers to the girl he’s supposed to like and doesn’t dare to talk to the adorable guy he has such a crush on? Even decades after kindergarten, Valentine’s can bring misery to any gay man not properly coupled off. Here are some ideas on what to do.
Rolf Danner 